Why didn’t anyone tell me this??

Before you have a kid everyone tells you how hard it is to have a kid and be a parent. Yes, it’s true but the hardest part of being a parent isn’t managing Rami, it’s managing ME!!

This morning we were having a lovely cuddly morning watching Frog & Toad (i’m SO Toad) and the second i said “Ok Ram let’s get dressed!” he flips a switch and becomes IRATE and starts screaming and flopping himself like a fish and we’re already basically late to school and he’s literally fighing me and pushing my arms away and hitting me while I’m trying to put on his Golden State Warriors Kevin Durant era tee shirt and the neck is all stretched out and hes saying “WATCH FROG N TOAD!!!” and I understand why people say “dont shake the baby!” My cortisol was raised to a million and I wanted to pin him down and i raised my voice and said “BE QUIET RAMI!” and it scared me :,)

I was raised in a family of short tempers and yellers out of immigrant survival mode and I felt my body tense up out of frustration as if he was doing this “to me” instead of just being a normal toddler. once i realized I had raised my voice and scared him a little i took a beat and tried to calm down and lowered my voice to a normal volume and offered him some milk for comfort and then we were both able to calm down.

I wish somebody told me how fucking hard it is to try and regulate yourself and your child simultaneously when theyre having a meltdown, but as long as you recognize what happening and are able to repair with your child even after you lose your temper, you’re still doing great baddie ❤️